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When is enough?

Dear Fordy,

I am broken. Emotionally. Mentally. Psychologically. I am broken into pieces and I do not know when I will be able to pick up the pieces again.

Your dad and I had a fight. Huge. It was partly my fault but I am happy I stood up finally. It is about time I stand up for your Kuya Karlo. Enough of those time when he will feel he doesn't belong. Those times when he feels alone. For the first time, I made him feel, I am here. I am his mother and I love him just like I love the 3 of you.

There is no favoritism. I love you all, equally. When you came, all my attention was on you. Because you were fragile and you needed Mommy the most. I almost forgot I had Kuya and your Ate's. When you left me, I realized, I still have them. But your kuya needs me the most. Since he doesn't have a father he can call his own, I know the least I can do is to make him feel he still have a mother.

So, your daddy did not understand and I don't know if he ever will. But for now, there is a great valley of silence between us. And I prefer to keep it that way. For now.

I posted your picture on Facebook again and they felt sad with me. They miss you too, bubut.

By the way, I dreamt of you last night. I know I did. But I forgot what about. Can you show up again tonight?

I love you, Fordy.

Love forever,